Confessions Of A Shopaholic (2009)--1/5

In this despicable husk of a movie, a superficial idiot (Isla Fisher) buys couture that Brüno wouldn't touch to the soundtrack of early-nineties club hits and her own Muffy Mouse voiceover. She writes barely incoherent columns comparing fashion with finances. Inexplicably, especially considering the states of the magazine, fashion, and money industries, she's a hit. Laura tells me there's a scene in "Confessions of a Shopaholic" in which the Dude (Hugh Dancy) opines on how intelligent she is. (I was on the phone for a good chunk of the film.) This is a disconnect akin to everyone saying how beautiful Maggie Gyllenhall is in "The Dark Knight." Or, if you're offended by that, it's like everyone saying how much Hilary Swank looks like Mia Kirshner in "The Black Dahlia." No matter how many times you tell the audience, it still isn't gonna be true. (I guess I'm a superficial idiot, too.)