I can see how this is The Hottest Movie Ever for teenage girls. Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) is one calculated creation--pale and smoldering, with super-strength, color-changing eyes, and a fashion-sense cultivated over the last ninety years. Bella Swan's no slouch either; she's just as pale and beautiful. They're the ne plus ultra of emo kids.
In the liberal serving of Gothic cheese called "Twilight," they're created for each other. Edward is a seducing predator (but in a good way!) and Bella has an intoxicating aroma (to vampires) and an inscrutable mind. This is important because Edward's also a telepath. Clearly, subtlety is not one of "Twilight's" strengths.
"Twilight" is all about sexual tension that can't be broken. In so many words, he can't lose control around her delicious blood. Tragically, they can't keep their hands off of each other.
The diverting first hour of the film is composed mostly of Edward and Bella animalistically fixating on each other. It loses some momentum once the computer effects creep in. Edward's sprint up a mountain looks like a crude cartoon, with a single cel Scotch-taped onto different frames of film. And then there's the baseball scene, in which these mediocre effects are used for vampires in old-timey jerseys.
"Twilight" has its roots in Harlequin novels and Ann Rice, of course. Using the damp mountains of Washington and a high school setting, it does manage to eke out a sufficiently new look for vampire stories.
The Cullens: a rational parent's worst nightmare.
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