Waterworld (1995)--3/5

I’ve seen a lot of movies worse than “Waterworld.” So why’d it take fourteen years for me to get around to it? By the time the film was released, it had been a well-documented exercise in hubristic money-burning. Any supposed slight—especially those regarding Kevin Costner’s balding, begilled, and misogynist character Mariner—became magnified in the public eye. “Waterworld” still stands tall as one of the great Hollywood flops.

Seen independently of its production travails, “Waterworld” is a simple, well-meaning, post-apocalyptic action piece. In an attempt to distinguish “Waterworld” from the oft-plundered “Mad Max” series, the filmmakers bring (perhaps too-) detailed logic to the world. Mariner’s home base, a lovely trimaran boat, transforms with the manipulation of gears and ropes. Its destruction is the greatest tragedy in the film.

Careful, too much logical thought about “Waterworld” leads to madness. How long ago did the icecaps melt? Someone says hundreds of years ago. That can’t be true because Helen (Jeanne Tripplehorn) is unaware of cities—or any other swath of dry land. And Mariner has inherited gills and webbed toes. But it must be true because the Dennis Hopper-led “smokers” have unspoiled cigarette packs, poorly camouflaged wave runners, and a plane. See what I mean?

As perhaps the primary agent of its downfall, the difficult ocean location shooting is what ultimately distinguishes “Waterworld.” Despite the problems—storms, equipment malfunctions, ego-transport—the film has an endless horizon. In contrast, a scene in which Mariner swims to the ocean floor with Helen looks exactly like what it is: models, tank-shots, and poor special effects to tie them together—essentially, what I thought the whole film would look like.