Date: 2009-07-27, 9:27PM EDT
Attention all residents of [insert small-town name here]
I am making a big Hollywood movie, "The Girl Next Door," in the town of [insert small-town name here]. If you live here and have a fifties car you would like to see in a movie, please contact me!! Also, if you have any old clothes or props, that would be good. And if you know of any songs from the fifties that have fallen into the public domain or can be gotten for cheap, please let me know.
Can you act? Have you ever tried to act? Just want to be on film? We have some pretty intense dramatic roles. You'll do great!!
If you are a minor, please get permission to be in scenes involving graphic torture and nudity. I'm sure it'll be OK!
Location: [insert small-town name here]